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RAFAL ZAJKO & MIKOLAJ SOBCZAK
IN CONVERSATION -
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Rafal: My reasons for moving to the UK were slightly different: it was mainly an economical/ social shift. I moved at 19, initially, to earn some money and education came as a by-product from a need for progress and growth. Living in the small eastern city of Białystok - it definitely felt more hostile towards queer folk. I could not imagine myself growing older and feeling threatened constantly or having to be a toned down version of myself. Sometimes I feel like I just needed to run away, which makes me feel guilty - but also really bloody proud. I think it was a mixture of a youthful bravado and luck that helped me to maintain a new life and existence in a completely different country and culture. After being self-westernised It took me a while for the Polish culture and references to emerge in my art work. Perhaps I had been avoiding this for a really long time. I feel like I had this insecurity of being from Eastern Europe and it took me a while to be proud of it as I am now - similar to my sexuality. It is a part of growing and having confidence in all the building blocks that make you - you.
The East and West diaspora is particularly present in your work - but it feels like you are almost exorcising it out by pulling the extremes of the subjects from the spectrum - Uber Polish (Eastern) vs Uber Western. Do you agree?Mikolaj: That’s a very interesting point about being self-westernised after moving to the UK. Lately, I’ve been thinking about it: how the emigration actually sharpened my view on my own culture - made me see it’s possibilities. While studying in Poland, I was willing to see myself as some Berlin-post-Internet-guy working with the newest Western theories. My dream was to be a perfect product of colonialisation and imperialisation. After leaving my home, I realised; all this heritage I’ve wanted to erase from my works (or even taste), turned out to be the most inspiring - for a non-Polish viewer too. That was a big relief! Finally I was able to embrace everything that I really like. I come from the East - you immediately hear my accent, for example - and I am grown up enough to like myself for that: to make it my very own tool of communication, to find links between us.
So, I agree: I exorcise the dualism by enjoying and embracing all those extremes of East and West - allowing myself to go on full volume.
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Mikolaj: Being vocal about the current politics - or to be more precise - the need for change, is the only thing that keeps me making art with my full engagement. The belief that this is where I can be heard. And being heard is such a privilege nowadays. I would never forgive myself if I gave up the chance to speak up about the situation for sexual and national minorities, not only in Poland, but everywhere we experience phobias (eg. Homophobia). This is something that constantly motivates me to continue - even though my political engagement brought me to the darkest places of my life. But here is where I believe in the “Phoenix Syndrome” - you can only fly out of the fire when you first burn down to ashes all the crap that was blocking you. Starting from ego’s “I should/ I shouldn’t”
I say here: “me, my” but in fact, art is the result of team work and the enormous support of friends. It’s necessary to emphasise this. Our art has no power without extra pairs of eyes.
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Rafal: Absolutely! To have any platform to voice your ideas is such a privilege. I mean, being an artist is a privilege - in the sense of having time to dedicate a life to it and not work another job. However, I wonder how many people with ideologies so different from ours actually listen? I’m thinking about how so many people with phobias don’t engage with contemporary art. How art as a discourse has been so censored in Poland - most recently and shockingly with the appointment of Piotr Bernatowicz as the director of CSW in Warsaw. Do you not feel sometimes that’s it’s preaching in an echo chamber? Do you think it’s important to engage with these issues outside of the art world and explore new ways to be an activist to these important causes?
Mikolaj: I recently had a story with Piotr Bernatowicz. I was invited to do a guided tour in the Ujazdowski Castle Contemporary Art Center in Warsaw, where he is the infamous alt-rightwing director. I spoke about queer movements and the history of marriage - what a “traditional family” - the conservatives’ key concept - actually means. At exactly the same time, in the same institution, he had planned his public discussion on gender where he said “In the term ‘LGBT+’, this plus means in.al. zoophilia.” So - I had my visitors, he had his. But that’s their strategy - polarising, segregating. I am completely fed up with it and see it as a reason for the modern cataclysm we can see in politics, ecology and economics. Which is why I don’t have an ambition to talk to those who fundamentally disagree with us. I want to talk to people who simply want to talk. And talking means dialogue - maybe even a hard one; maybe an argument. I desire to know their reasons and to understand.
That is why I think it is also extremely important to be engaged in all those issues outside of the art world too. Reach new perspectives. Again, one pair of eyes is not enough: but when we look at the world with more and more pairs of eyes, then we can identify a problem and it’s reasons much more efficiently. We can also better protect ourselves by seeing the enemy behind us. I like this vision of activism as creature consisting of multiple eyes. -
Rafal: And lastly (if we are on the subject of multiplicity), you often collaborate with others: how important is this process for you?
Mikolaj: It is a crucial process for me! I realised this very deeply during lockdown this year. From the first naive enthusiasm of having so much time just for making art, I quickly found that making art alone; without collaboration, without exchanging ideas, without intellectual stimulation and with an extra financial struggle, is almost impossible! I was getting extremely passive, melancholic, empty minded. And here - I am coming again to this multiple-eyed figure. Without collaboration, my steps are tiny. I get tired and burnt out so quickly. We dare more in the collaboration. Through supporting for example — like discussions and sending inspiring stuff to each other; but also emotionally cheering each other up, sharing responsibility, commenting on new works. Most of all however, just by making works together: we feel much stronger; do much more interesting things than when just being “me, myself and I”. Even my individual works (like paintings) are much richer when other people are involved in the intellectual process of painting them.
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